Wherefore art thou, Mojo?
How to reload on inspo
Romance is best defined in retrospect.
It was only after the second year of my domestic partnership that the word intimacy joined my whine lexicon. Before the 24-month mark, sentences including that word, and others like snuggle, with phrases such as miss you, once said with the batting of eyes, raised of voice and tone, newly came coupled with a sigh.
Surrounded by peers debating the best ways to fit the golden goose of “you” time.
(Did that type of hour only just arrive? Prior to betrothment, my 28-year-old self, viewed a solo evening or “friend date” as a kind of purgatory.
These days, my 20s far behind me. These days, I (shamefully) find myself texting friends in hailstorms of e-complaints. A stream of woe against my partner. Whining over the about hours “stolen” from my personal purse. For shame the suffrages of self-appreciation atrophied. Violins crow over the absence of decencies, such as uninhibited bathroom counter space and clothes closet open access.)
Once blissful, this gift of adapting to one another, is now a rest-of-our-lives sentence. Wedded to a terminal tethering, each party edging towards emotional isolation I touch my beloved beside me, intwined, each well-intentioned one of us, wondering what it was like before. Openly we debate some return to an unrealistic time where it was something it is not now.
Walk this truism over to your canvas, computer, or stage. Think of when the creation came easy. The study and long hours welcomed. A honeymoon after numerous false starts.
When was it: the retreat or training? In college? Remote Summerstock gig? That particular sublet where the light came in thus so?
Exactly what was that wonderful “before time” all about? Add to that, specifically how impossibly that plays when you look at today? The time in the youth of your art when aptitude came easy vs the rusty, plotting hours of today.
What the Hell was that all about?
There is methodology in the ephemeral.
Wonder is reproducible.
Fires, relit!
Most earnestly, the “romancing” of where your work comes from, and when it does and doesn’t, is nothing more than an excuse.
Stop the Makers Madness! Forget (for a moment) WHAT you make or made. Choose to learn to focus on HOW you got there. In other words, what re the necessary conditions of your creation?
· Was it the handwritten prewriting?
· Starting the day by cleaning the studio (my partner’s technique!)?
· Organizing your slides and files?
· Popping to-dos in a calendar with annoyingly encouraging alters?
(Returning to the intro … for me it could be taking a late-night walk before bed, a weekend road trip, getting wasted and singing stadium rock songs and show tunes in my sweatpants-at home.)
The short list above may seem nothing less than arbitrary. Wake up – it IS arbitrary! To reunite inspiration, find the spark from scratch. Create a recipe from the beauty and chaos easily won and so long since mourned. I feel that. Sucks the wind right out of wonder, huh?
Look at what behaviors and practices came in tow with your inspiration - I think of this as the conventions of creation. Drawing together the environment and terms that have been successful and adapting them to present conditions. Not to just add water, but a training around the training and inquisition of how you work. That is an art and a technique in itself, like blending colors, but in your mind.
Artistic intoxication is where we forgo reproduction and ignore any ability to economically fortify our lives with our work. We leave our legacy to sweet breezes in the air, the brightest of mornings and bleakest of nights, first kisses and heartbreak. From that space, if we ever have the experience of being “hired” we will welcome being “fired” as the creating becomes painful.
How do we stoke the flame? We do so by finding out what worked and why.
For some, this may be the difference between science and faith. An enlightenment age exercise, an alchemists’ debate. In short – don’t strain your brain so hard. Know that work – a fine art, creative experiment, corporate compassion, or academic assignment – comes together thanks to a rumble-tumble mix of purposeful technique and happenstance. The lesson here being to not lean to heavily on either approach.
If the words came easy last week – say thank you, to you AND your process. Give weight to the investigation of HOW you created. There is no push-and-go game plan, no, but there is intelligence you can very much gain.
Think about this: if nothing else it breaks up the time while you wait for “wanting to” to start!
