Are You Over-Networking?
How to get a second date.
Reality check: You may not get hired until 2021.
This is not news, of course. Rather, it is the nightmare you wake to almost daily. Since the days started getting longer, frost melting, and daisy’s popped. The first month, you didn’t wash your hair or turn off NPR. You called your Mom. Got mad that she did not understand, slammed the phone, cried, ate some of your roommate’s leftover take out, texted mom something adolescent, deleted it, texted your bestie and so on….
What the above leaves out is the manic searching on various portals for leads, vetting LinkedIn, scrolling Idealist..you know the deal. Then, and this is the crux of this post, there are your networking channels. The various hubs you Zoom to. They seem like a break from the BS that is job searching, sure. You chug wine, you chat, you feel like “hey, I am really doing something” but the venture closes. “Exit meeting” – then what?!
Who did you talk to? What did you learn? What is next? Why would they bother?
This sounds like scolding. I hear that. There is the inclination – 100% normal – when we are not working to fill our time with “busyness”. Being occupied is a most excellent way to stave off literal and existential anxiety, nihilism, shame, and fear. The feelings that come so hot and heavy in the nights we toss and turn, unemployed and unsure of what fate has in store.
I am in NO way arguing against activity. We each have a work metabolism: the amount we can “exercise” vs the recovery to sustain that pace. I have a high one. I can work myself to exhaustion, beyond, even, with little care. Only noticing when my legs and output fail me. I function best when mentally, physically, spiritually active. Idleness does not serve me well. So, yes, in instances when I have been without a gig, or even now on a slow client day, pushing through is pretty essential.
OK! So how is one to work in the job search with a high ROI on networking? All the while maintaining a healthy career BMI? Oh. I got you - read on to learn more. No secrets. All strategy!
Short personal deviation from our topic: Before I started my coaching business, I hit a real wall of career mourning. The start-up I led had sold, that was something we planned for a long time to execute wisely. New owners could not have been more ideal. Honest and certain to lead the company forward in new ways, upholding what we built.
Contract signed, funds to the right places, handshakes – the works. I was home. I was paid. I was lost.
Every day for seven years before that moment – and I mean EVERY day – new business and good business did not pause. Weekends and Holidays are working days, even if for a moment. Leadership allows for little rest. I loved it – no joke. That is not hyperbole, it is honest. We built a wacky and scrappy company serving customers who were more like neighbors and pals in our small and then BIG start up ‘hood. Yes, I was tired. Yes, I loved not getting a random question text at a weirdo hour. What was really surprising was how much of my value hinged on being essential. Though planned for, I found myself at a ground zero of un-essentialness. That caused a reality slip and gloominess.
The antidote was and could not be random. My mission was not just to be occupied but useful. First to my own self, securing my business architecture – site, processes, legal jazz, marketing – but then get the hell to work connecting with former contacts to ask the ever essential: How can I help?
Take away: Finding your stride is essential. That can NOT be based on what is dumped on your “desk”. Forget that shit. Rather, it is a balance of output and intel gathering – back to how to do that ….
Start Small:
Make a spreadsheet of all your contacts, networking hubs and groups. What is on the docket, what is pending, and what, where, and who you want to connect with.
Ask and offer:
Each person you are “networking” with is to have a very specific want from you and inquiry/offer as to how you can serve them as well. If you cannot help or are not thinking of how you might, and also willing to ask – don’t bother.
With nothing on the table, no one will come to your professional dinner party. Relationships are a two-way street. Otherwise you will appear grabby. Grabby is gross.
Don’t get in touch UNLESS you have something to say:
In the vein of not being a creepster – NEVER connect without having something to say or share. A few good examples:
“I am building a new site – want to see?”
“I wrote a blog.”
“Curious as to your thoughts on ….”
Remember: good communication is NOT “gimme”.
Who’s on the call?
There are your set and swing voters. In a job search, your set voters are those like you: people out of work. The swing set are folks who are more mixed: seekers, founders, bosses, freelancers.
Each group is good to connect to, but if you are hard up for leads and leverage, continually hitting up a hub of equally need persons is a stop loss.
Pace yourself
Back to the negotiation between “doing” and “intake”: if you are not entering a networking or informational interview with a strategy based on the above, don’t.
Think about the exit – what you aim to leave with. Your days are to be a 50/50 break down between out and in. That is, prep and connect. Should you not have foundation of inquiry and a game-plan for follow up, you may be burnt out.
Start with a daily “new touch” networking and follow up for the rest of your time. Should you consistently sustain that you can branch out.
Community takes cultivation. Think gather vs hunter. There is a hiring lull, however you need not stay weak. So many are hot to network, do be sure you serve up properly!
