WTF is it with Feedback: When, why, and how not to ask for what you never really want to know
Language becomes, through usage, innately lazy. Like listening or sandwich making - we do it as a point of pattern without seeing or thinking, certainly not hearing. Think of marriage by way of mangled verbs and adjectives, pronunciation, and not to mention grammar. Grinding away on ill-heeled hinges. An aching machine of munched markers and matter-of-facts.
At other times we will tackle listening, today we talk about talking.
The worst pitfalls can be found at work. Speech is never literal at the office. Nope, it is leading. It leads to forays towards inroads of relationships we aim and hope to bring us more scratch and success - the most murky of all work-world words.
There are many avenues one could travel down with verbiage and labor, here however, I attack “feedback”.
The intent is generally to encourage inclusion - “I care what others think”, therefore I am not an asshole. Well, whatever. You may be. That is not what we are “speaking” on. We “talk” of benefit and desire. The benefit to not appearing obstinate to exterior insight is office extra-special birthday parties, good “words” at promotion time, and recommendations for the most fun projects.
The downfall in instigating exterior inspection is vetting the aims and agendas of others - the worst of which being our peers. Feedback asking comes from polar points: confidence or fear. Either you bare your best breasts before the firing squad, fearless of mortality, or you are so swiftly penetrated and pale you break before the barrels cock.
Why bother? Why ask at all? Most especially if you deem the project closed., ust turn it in. We court feedback to avoid rejection. Rejection is part of doing. Knock off avoidance, embrace acceptance that some folks are just not going to dig the scent of your shit.
Ask NOT for feedback my dear friend, but what you are to do with the surprise satchel sweepstake you are signing up to receive. Community is not to be building upon ONLY your ego.
There are a lot of busses - be careful of the ones you throw yourself under.
